5 + 5 point Someone by BABA RAMONAV

Yesterday I met a pizza delivery boy in a hut. He was weak and drowsy. He got me a fresh garden pizza with extra cheese and may-sauce. After handing over my order....I gave him a generous Rs.3 Tip.

He was overwhelmed and couldn’t hold back his tears of joy.....he came out of counter, smiled and then fell on my feet.

He asked me to make a wish.

I thought for sometime....

And asked him "whether he would hack  into baba ramonav's secret notes drafts in facebook..",.

He happily obliged.....did some typing in th hut's apple fruit keyboard, clicked a rat and got me this...........

PROFILE NAME:BABA RAMONAV ..... (secret  chelsea IInd owner )
AGE : HAHAHA
STATUS : BABA TILL ETERNITY
ABOUT ME: YOGA GURU BY PROFESSION,NONSENSE SPEAKER BY PASSION,JUMPER BY AGGRESSION,.........and sometimes is BLACK MONEY SONG IS A  SOLUTION


MY PLANS IN 2xxx(..oh!! thats x represents number )

1. Every Indian and hot American blondes must perform pranab-yam every morning for atleast 40breathes. 20 times Lom Amul-om (per nostril/220hair glands) after finishing nature call.

2. Government must publish specific rate lists for every public office including sulabh sochalay, with the charges for various activities (including yoga ones) clearly displayed at the entrance. For example at the electricity office: old connection revival – Rs 10000, Faulty meter re-arrangement – Rs 3000,ramonav yoga camp -Rs 10,000 and so on. This would save citizens much heartburn & heatburn on finding out they were overcharged because they didn’t know the going rate.

3. If people want to use foreign goods...they must first spell it (Bayerische Motoren Werke :- BMW),   or else No foreign goods. No Nike. No Pepsi. No Katrina Kaif. No Sonia Gandhi.

4. Every public announcement to first get approved by eminent personalities on Twitter ,mainly if someone is pregnant. Any new proposal should be finalized only after getting a mention & retweet from at least twenty Twitterati, each with a minimum of 5000 followers.

Oh, and Twitter comes under the foreign goods category.Hence, TCS or infosys to be asked to write an Indian version of Twitter - CHIDIYA.

5. Schools in Bihar and Maharashtra to start a cultural exchange program called Manoos Bhaiyya. Laloo and Raj thack-rey should the head of the council. Kids from both Patna and Mumbai to travel to each other’s cities, and learn more about the local culture. Vada pav and litti,matka chai should  form compulsory form of diet.

6. Solitaire and texas hold-em poker to be banned, with any violations punishable with death by drowning in the Yamuna which would be  cleaned by NDTV under guidance of BHARKHA DUTT. Getting rid of this evil Microsoft and facebook game is estimated to improve productivity across government ,private sector offices, Colleges and hostels by at least 85%.

7. Dowry to be legalized. And made taxable under "Profits and Gains from Business or Profession". People do it anyway; let the government makes some money out of it. At 30%, Andhra alone estimated to gain annual revenues of Rs 10 lakh crores just through the dowry tax. Distribute this to the poor farmers, and no one will ever commit suicide again.

A new ministry to be formed "Dowry under ministry board".....DUMB

8. Prominent news channel anchors to be given magisterial  powers. This will enable them to deliver instant justice, instead of having to deliberate for weeks with experts and show two second clips a million times to convince viewers.Again,Bharkha Dutt and Arnab Gowsami should be made the head of this department.


9. “Mere Baap Ka Beta rati-Chor Hai.” Anybody found guilty of corruption to be immediately tattooed on the forehead. The power to do this will also be given to managers in private sector firms who will be able to perform this on anybody found submitting fake bills for reimbursement mainly honeymoon travel bills.

10. Radio to be banned. Yes, you heard it right. All the ills of modern society are being spread by Radio. After all who listens to radio these days. people want more soap-shampoo operas, more morally corrupt deodorant ads,  more hutties$Roadies, more sing-song  shows, more ice-breaking news, more jee- ranks, more less-cooking shows, more zero-tolerant talent shows . This alone will fix half of our problems.

Foolproof as it may seem, if by any chance these plans do not work, then Shri Rajnikanth Sir to be brought in to repeat the nation-saving act he so successfully demonstrated in Sivaji – The Boss.