In my last blog entry....I mixed romance & adventure , drenched them in a pool of fun and wondered that it would be appropriate to enjoy it.Yah!!! you loved it ..i know!! Thats why without wasting much of my time i am back with another pop-buster....but this time it is little bit more satirical{thanks to one shanky bro....for a funny e-mail he shared with me}.So, people get ready to laugh and giggle in your sit ....with my name on your lips(if ur a girl) or in your brain(if ur a boy).
Guys already one month in the year 2011 has passed, but have you ever forced your mind on “how was the year 2010?”.So to make things easier .....for you and ofcourse your brain(how in this world can i forget that )... i clubbed down some top 5 “news PAPER cuttings” which broke my spine last year.....(mummyyyyyy!!!)
Count down begins..........
5. Lalit Modi had laughed hysterically after declaring Champions League open
Banglore: No Non-sense newspaper has learnt that IPL commissioner and chairman of the Champions League Twenty20′s governing council Lalit Modi had quietly gone back to his room and had a hysterical laugh after he declared the Champions League open this Thursday. Modi was apparently rolling on his bed in his five-star suite as he remembered the last couple of years since he broke into the international scene with IPL auctions of cricketers.
“F man! I actually made people buy and sell cricketers, and it was not for any fantasy league with virtual money! Real money and real players for real games! Who could have done that?” Modi said to himself excitedly as he lay face down on his bed. Then he screamed “woohoo” and threw the pillows upwards and punched the bed five times with his right fist before the pillows fell down back on the bed.
Modi then turned back and lay with his face facing the ceiling, and then suddenly burst into hysterical bouts of laughter, with his left hand on his belly and his legs fidgeting in the air as he recalled the bygone days, source close to him said.
Its a different issue that he was later sacked and parceled to banana republic.
4. Google secretly developing a competitor to Paul the Octopus
California, USA. Concerned over the growing popularity of Paul the Octopus for accurately resolving people’s doubts, something for which a lot of people have relied upon Google search results, Google is reported to be developing its own Octopus, tentatively named “Google 8”. The Google Octopus could be launched anytime later this year and would be distributed and sold through retail stores unlike other google products that were distributed and sold through online downloads.
“People would ask all kinds of questions to Google when something bothered them – Will I ever get a girlfriend? When will i get 10 likes in my status update? Is my neighbor a *** offender? Will kenya win the 2011 world cup? Will USA be a Muslim state by 2050? Will manmohan and sonia ever marry? – but soon they could start flocking to octopuses for such queries and google could lose a considerable traffic.” explained an internet expert.
Earlier Google had felt threat from the growing popularity of facebook and was believed to be working on development of “Google Me”, but it’s not clear if the internet giant could shelve the development of “Google Me” to launch “Google 8” in time. Our sources in China confirm that preparations are afoot to market tiny octopuses in smaller aquariums and brand them iPaul, something that hurts Google as well as Apple, two American corporate giants.
PS: paul left all of us soon after the world cup and became part of japenese sushi soup in chinese restras.....RIP octopus paul
3. SRK releases “My Name Is Kahn and im not a nazi!!”
Berlin, Germany. Our german branch reported the collaboration of Shahrukh Khan and the star German goalkeeper Oliver Rolf Kahn to release a new movie called “My Name Is Kahn”.
On being asked about the movie, Oliver said, “Well I will be starring in this movie. In the movie I will be playing a football coach who comes to India to train a team of whiny, bitchy air-headed girls so that they can win some tournament with their neighboring college. But unfortunately, because of my German origins, I am detained and held up at the airport for hours citing security reasons. And I say – My Name Is Kahn… and I am not a Nazi......
The movie is being released primarily made to distract Shiv Sena workers away from shahrukh’s “my name is khan”, Oliver was quite excited over the prospects and went on to reveal the bulk of the plot, “Then it (the movie) will show my slow transformation from an October fest German, who gets irritated by numerous Hitler references, into a proud Marathi Manoos who settles down with one of the Maharashtrian girls from the team in a simple yet emotional manner.”
note : oliver khan was seen yesterday shouting outside shahrukh's house...."mera {cheque-de} india"
2. Rahul Gandhi warned US of rising power of Narnia: WikiLeaks
New Delhi. In another major embarrassment for the Congress party and possibly US policymakers too, the latest cables released by WikiLeaks show that Congress general secretary Rahul Gandhi had warned an US diplomat over rising might of Narnia, the mythical country depicted in The Chronicles of Narnia, a fantasy novel and movie series for children.
Rahul Gandhi had apparently suggested that while Al Qaida remained a big threat and Osama should be hunted down, USA should not ignore the developments in Narnia and keep an eye over the followers of Aslan, the talking lion who is widely regarded as the creator and lord of Narnia.
Aslan, the mighty lion from Narnia...“If some of our kids can get transported to Narnia through wardrobes and paintings, the Minotaurs and Ogres of Narnia can sneak into our world as well, isn’t it?”
Rahul Gandhi is supposed to have told US president Mr.Barack obama while pointing out towards a painting at Manmohan Singh’s residence where they were attending a lunch hosted by the Indian Prime Minister in honor of visiting US president last year.
1.Unable to understand Inception, IIT aspirant kills himself
Hyderabad: Christopher Nolan’s recently released mind bending sci-fi movie Inception has opened to rare reviews by critics and has triggered a lot of discussion amongst the movie lovers, but little did anyone know that this movie would end up claiming the life of a 17 years old IIT aspirant. Wednesday was a sad day for the Rao family when the youngest member of the family Gopal committed suicide because he wasn’t able to understand Inception completely even after watching it for seven times, three times in his dreams.
“Gopal was waiting for this movie ever since he saw the first teasers on YouTube six months back. He went to the movie theatre with his notebook and took copious notes too. But, then I don’t know what forced him to take such a drastic step,” said his father, Ram.
“Although he was too old for this kind of gift, but on Tuesday night he demanded a spinning top (lattoo) from me as his 18th birthday gift,” Ram continued, as he wondered what went wrong with his son.
His friend Jaideep added that Gopal had read all the reviews of the movie online and had also updated his Facebook status after watching the movie to “Is this real or am I dreaming? Guys, give me a kick!” {which was liked by 7 of his friends}.
Gopal, an IIT aspirant, was a student of FIITJEE (Forget IITJEE). He was found sleeping in the last bench on the day of FIITJEE’s All India Test series this Sunday. He committed suicide three days later.
“Projection of my subconscious is a loser!” were the last words of Gopal in public, as he shouted back at his laughing classmates and stormed out of the test room.
Bonus :
Hrithik roshan has the sexiest armpits: Rediff poll
Mumbai. An online poll conducted by the popular Indian website Rediff.com has chosen Hrithik roshan as the celebrity with The Sexiest Armpit. Hrithik emerged on top among ten Indian and international celebrities to win the title. Sanjay Dutt, Salman Khan, Arnold Schwarzenegger, Brad Pitt, Roger Federer, Shoaib Akhtar, He-Man, Smelly Cat, and Rakhi Sawant were the other contenders for the title. This shortlist was decided by Rediff Comments team.
Within minutes of the result being declared, hrithik’s facebook page received millions of likes mainly by girls. Around thousand comments were posted, out of which more than 950 were reported for breathlessness. Rest of the comments either congratulated hrithik or accused sanjay leela bhansali of having funded the poll. Some comments showed broken URLs of website offering free full body massage, while one user wondered why Brad Pitt was not selected even though his name rhymed with armpit.
But away from the world of comments,Hrithik expressed that his magic would have influenced the result and thanked fans for selecting his armpits. Media analysts believe that Hrithik could now win various advertising contracts for deodorant brands and teach Abhishek bachchan how to get an idea.
What an idea sirjee???.......!!
Guys already one month in the year 2011 has passed, but have you ever forced your mind on “how was the year 2010?”.So to make things easier .....for you and ofcourse your brain(how in this world can i forget that )... i clubbed down some top 5 “news PAPER cuttings” which broke my spine last year.....(mummyyyyyy!!!)
Count down begins..........
5. Lalit Modi had laughed hysterically after declaring Champions League open
Banglore: No Non-sense newspaper has learnt that IPL commissioner and chairman of the Champions League Twenty20′s governing council Lalit Modi had quietly gone back to his room and had a hysterical laugh after he declared the Champions League open this Thursday. Modi was apparently rolling on his bed in his five-star suite as he remembered the last couple of years since he broke into the international scene with IPL auctions of cricketers.
“F man! I actually made people buy and sell cricketers, and it was not for any fantasy league with virtual money! Real money and real players for real games! Who could have done that?” Modi said to himself excitedly as he lay face down on his bed. Then he screamed “woohoo” and threw the pillows upwards and punched the bed five times with his right fist before the pillows fell down back on the bed.
Modi then turned back and lay with his face facing the ceiling, and then suddenly burst into hysterical bouts of laughter, with his left hand on his belly and his legs fidgeting in the air as he recalled the bygone days, source close to him said.
Its a different issue that he was later sacked and parceled to banana republic.
4. Google secretly developing a competitor to Paul the Octopus
California, USA. Concerned over the growing popularity of Paul the Octopus for accurately resolving people’s doubts, something for which a lot of people have relied upon Google search results, Google is reported to be developing its own Octopus, tentatively named “Google 8”. The Google Octopus could be launched anytime later this year and would be distributed and sold through retail stores unlike other google products that were distributed and sold through online downloads.
“People would ask all kinds of questions to Google when something bothered them – Will I ever get a girlfriend? When will i get 10 likes in my status update? Is my neighbor a *** offender? Will kenya win the 2011 world cup? Will USA be a Muslim state by 2050? Will manmohan and sonia ever marry? – but soon they could start flocking to octopuses for such queries and google could lose a considerable traffic.” explained an internet expert.
Earlier Google had felt threat from the growing popularity of facebook and was believed to be working on development of “Google Me”, but it’s not clear if the internet giant could shelve the development of “Google Me” to launch “Google 8” in time. Our sources in China confirm that preparations are afoot to market tiny octopuses in smaller aquariums and brand them iPaul, something that hurts Google as well as Apple, two American corporate giants.
PS: paul left all of us soon after the world cup and became part of japenese sushi soup in chinese restras.....RIP octopus paul
3. SRK releases “My Name Is Kahn and im not a nazi!!”
Berlin, Germany. Our german branch reported the collaboration of Shahrukh Khan and the star German goalkeeper Oliver Rolf Kahn to release a new movie called “My Name Is Kahn”.
On being asked about the movie, Oliver said, “Well I will be starring in this movie. In the movie I will be playing a football coach who comes to India to train a team of whiny, bitchy air-headed girls so that they can win some tournament with their neighboring college. But unfortunately, because of my German origins, I am detained and held up at the airport for hours citing security reasons. And I say – My Name Is Kahn… and I am not a Nazi......
The movie is being released primarily made to distract Shiv Sena workers away from shahrukh’s “my name is khan”, Oliver was quite excited over the prospects and went on to reveal the bulk of the plot, “Then it (the movie) will show my slow transformation from an October fest German, who gets irritated by numerous Hitler references, into a proud Marathi Manoos who settles down with one of the Maharashtrian girls from the team in a simple yet emotional manner.”
note : oliver khan was seen yesterday shouting outside shahrukh's house...."mera {cheque-de} india"
2. Rahul Gandhi warned US of rising power of Narnia: WikiLeaks
New Delhi. In another major embarrassment for the Congress party and possibly US policymakers too, the latest cables released by WikiLeaks show that Congress general secretary Rahul Gandhi had warned an US diplomat over rising might of Narnia, the mythical country depicted in The Chronicles of Narnia, a fantasy novel and movie series for children.
Rahul Gandhi had apparently suggested that while Al Qaida remained a big threat and Osama should be hunted down, USA should not ignore the developments in Narnia and keep an eye over the followers of Aslan, the talking lion who is widely regarded as the creator and lord of Narnia.
Aslan, the mighty lion from Narnia...“If some of our kids can get transported to Narnia through wardrobes and paintings, the Minotaurs and Ogres of Narnia can sneak into our world as well, isn’t it?”
Rahul Gandhi is supposed to have told US president Mr.Barack obama while pointing out towards a painting at Manmohan Singh’s residence where they were attending a lunch hosted by the Indian Prime Minister in honor of visiting US president last year.
1.Unable to understand Inception, IIT aspirant kills himself
Hyderabad: Christopher Nolan’s recently released mind bending sci-fi movie Inception has opened to rare reviews by critics and has triggered a lot of discussion amongst the movie lovers, but little did anyone know that this movie would end up claiming the life of a 17 years old IIT aspirant. Wednesday was a sad day for the Rao family when the youngest member of the family Gopal committed suicide because he wasn’t able to understand Inception completely even after watching it for seven times, three times in his dreams.
“Gopal was waiting for this movie ever since he saw the first teasers on YouTube six months back. He went to the movie theatre with his notebook and took copious notes too. But, then I don’t know what forced him to take such a drastic step,” said his father, Ram.
“Although he was too old for this kind of gift, but on Tuesday night he demanded a spinning top (lattoo) from me as his 18th birthday gift,” Ram continued, as he wondered what went wrong with his son.
His friend Jaideep added that Gopal had read all the reviews of the movie online and had also updated his Facebook status after watching the movie to “Is this real or am I dreaming? Guys, give me a kick!” {which was liked by 7 of his friends}.
Gopal, an IIT aspirant, was a student of FIITJEE (Forget IITJEE). He was found sleeping in the last bench on the day of FIITJEE’s All India Test series this Sunday. He committed suicide three days later.
“Projection of my subconscious is a loser!” were the last words of Gopal in public, as he shouted back at his laughing classmates and stormed out of the test room.
Bonus :
Hrithik roshan has the sexiest armpits: Rediff poll
Mumbai. An online poll conducted by the popular Indian website Rediff.com has chosen Hrithik roshan as the celebrity with The Sexiest Armpit. Hrithik emerged on top among ten Indian and international celebrities to win the title. Sanjay Dutt, Salman Khan, Arnold Schwarzenegger, Brad Pitt, Roger Federer, Shoaib Akhtar, He-Man, Smelly Cat, and Rakhi Sawant were the other contenders for the title. This shortlist was decided by Rediff Comments team.
Within minutes of the result being declared, hrithik’s facebook page received millions of likes mainly by girls. Around thousand comments were posted, out of which more than 950 were reported for breathlessness. Rest of the comments either congratulated hrithik or accused sanjay leela bhansali of having funded the poll. Some comments showed broken URLs of website offering free full body massage, while one user wondered why Brad Pitt was not selected even though his name rhymed with armpit.
But away from the world of comments,Hrithik expressed that his magic would have influenced the result and thanked fans for selecting his armpits. Media analysts believe that Hrithik could now win various advertising contracts for deodorant brands and teach Abhishek bachchan how to get an idea.
What an idea sirjee???.......!!
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