Monday, May 30, 2011

Advantages of being POOR in todays' world


We have been indoctrinated since birth to try to attain things....many things. Mainly in India,Success is measured by social status, and that is frequently established by your wealth. And, maybe sometimes status can be established by your natural abilities, like athleticism, or knowing how to play the Book Cricket better than anybody else, or if girl....maybe even stunning good looks. But if you’re just average in all that(say., Like me), and don’t even have the talent it takes to inherit wealth from ambanis and murthys(narayanan...not my dad), then teachers, parents and other relations, friends, casual acquaintances – everybody will push you to “improve” your lot in life.....Earn millions, if not billions. So you work hard, put in lots of hours, scrimp and save your debit cards, and, 30 years later, you have a spouse and kids, a mortgaged house, car and credit card payments, retirement just around the corner, recession, diabetes acting up, plus you’ve just discovered the heartbreak of psoriasis caused by stress. But you’re “successful” because you have a bigger house than your parents had.....!!
“yah even after that if you feel alone and socially negelected,.try not paying your car loan for once....!!”
Well, maybe not. Imagine all the opportunities that would be open up to you if you decided from Day One to just chuck that whole idea. Here are 10 fantabulously good reasons to duck the rat race.....
“because  even if you win the rat race.....in the end ,you are a rat only”
9.No Workload

Straight off, if you plan to embrace poverty, you might as well embrace not having a job, too. If there’s one good thing about being rich, it’s probably the absence of having to do anything even remotely resembling manual labor and, having embraced poverty as your personal economic philosophy, you won’t have to do manual labor, either. Why? Because, once you’ve embraced not having a job, other responsibilities like wearing a gold chain, washing the car, house cleaning, counting the change in your pocket and taking a shower, all these things will begin to fall like dominos. You’ll be amazed at how much free time you’ll have.....facebook will be most happy of all.
8. Finances Can Only Improve

This is a no-brainer. You won’t have a single worry about losing money or possessions, if you have no money or possessions. If you’re flat broke and you find a penny someone dropped, woo-hoo, it’s your lucky day!....you can buy eclairs,buy 3 kilos of rice from ration card if your in south india..... But if you’re a millionaire banker, you probably won’t even stoop to pick up a mere penny. Just think of all the lucky days you’ll have, when that banker might go years before he has even one day he considers lucky...Omg!!!
Now look at a picture of the Mukesh Ambani. Does he look truly happy? Of course not, he’s worried about his portfolio; maybe reliance is down a point or two....mumbai indians got trashed out in ipl.,his bro is involved in 2G Scam,he needs to maintain his 27-storey home,his wife is being lifted by bhajji and so on.... It’s the same with Bill Gates, Warren Buffet, Rupert Murdoch,Lakshmi Nivas Mittal, et al..
7.Easier Food Prep

As per recent recent news article .,planning commission in its report said,If a person earns Rs.20 or more than he/she is above poverty line.....so taking cue from that, McDonald’s has be given a list people living below poverty line in the vicinity of an outlet, and the restaurant will then employ them gainfully for a salary of one McAloo Tikki a day. Since the market price of one such Tikki is at least 20 rupees, the employee would thus no longer remain poor in the eyes of the government.......so even your poor , you can enjoy A sexy awesome Veg.Burger!!! im lovin it........
6.Freebies!

Rich Governments will give you freebies. It’s true. As a case in point, I was reading the newspaper  that someone has come up with an idea to give laptop computers to children in the developing world mainly India. These kids aren’t demonstrating in New York or Jantar mantar, shouting “We Want Computers, We Want Computers” – someone is actually hunting them down and saying “Here, kid, take this”,with a smile and a jayalalitha poster at the background. That is a sweet deal.
#Another example: Amma  promised to give karunanidhi’s wife free mixy-grinder and Mamata Banerjee has decided to gift a green colored Tata Nano to outgoing Chief Minister Buddhadeb Bhattacharya.!!...how cool is that!!WOW....btw for ur information ,“Rajinikanth doesn’t need any free fans of course”......
5.Moderation, schmoderation
 


If you embrace poverty, this will be one of the easier things to do – you won’t have any risk at all of an immoderate intake of anything. That is the kind of thing that gets your name in the history books. Look at Gandhi: he was poor as a temple priest, just as ascetic as they come, and now he’s revered as someone who reached the pinnacle of “enlightenment” through self-restraint. But he wasn’t restrained, he was just an adept in Poverty. Be like Gandhi and you’ll get your name in the history books, too. And mind you....your sons and daughter-in-laws in white kurta and costly zari sarees will be called madam and rahul forever!!

4.Healthy Lifestyle

Given sufficient poverty, your health will bloom as a natural consequence. Since you can no longer afford cigarettes, booze or illegal drugs, gone will be the nagging smoker’s hack, hangovers part 1 and part 2 and potential health issues caused by dirty needles (forest gump any1). As a bonus, your excessive body fat will just melt away, since you’ll probably be eating somewhat less. And you won’t have to consciously do a thing for all these benefits – no dieting, no nicotine patches or gum, and, unless you have a dealer who also chooses to embrace poverty, no tapering off from your favorite addictive drug. Your friends will be amazed at your “will power”, and medical bills will be a thing of the past....and you live happily ever after!!

3.Achieve Your Dreams

As a poverty “stricken” individual, you’ll find it easy to discard all your old dreams of “success” and – let’s face it – unattainable aspirations.....todayannual fees of coveted IIM-A , is 20lac p.a dude!! So,Your new desires will become much more modest, realistic and immediate.... While your old bucket list might have had things like “Go to a film premier”, or “paragliding off from a plane”, or “Stay in the best suite”, your new bucket list will be filled with items that you can tic off on a daily basis: find food (possibly by “Doing a runner”), shelter for the night, a new bucket, etc.

Your sense of accomplishment will do wonders for your self-esteem. And you wont need any shiv-kheras to teach that “you can win”....because you already are!!


2.Less Crime


Most crime today is caused by envy, greed ,jealous and since the truly impoverished have no possessions, they are seldom envied. Really, what could be stolen from you, besides your (above) newly purchased bucket? Your sense of accomplishment? You’ll be able to stroll along the darkest alleyways without the slightest fear of being mugged. Granted, you may inadvertently become the victim of crime fighters, but the flip side of that is that you’ll get free room and board. And then dexter morgan inside you wont search for a dark passenger....!!


1 .Go to Heaven

Somebody (Confucius or another chinese philosopher !) said something like, “It’s easier for a camel to pass through the eye of a needle than for a rich man to get into heaven”. Now, whether you believe in Heaven or not( mind you, im not speaking of mini-skirt cheer leaders), it just makes sense to cover all your bases, especially if you can do it without too much to yourself. 

As the exact opposite of a rich man, you stand a much greater chance of being able to waltz into Heaven with your eyes closed. If you have adequately impoverished yourself, very few temptations,ur karma will come your way, and those that do come your way can be dismissed with a haughty “I can’t afford that” or “Too rich for my blood, lady”. You’ll be living the lifestyle of a monk, a very deprived monk who cant even buy a nano, but you won’t be stuck in a dusty old abbey somewhere. Saints have been named for less, and you’ll be able to do it as a matter of course.




Bonus : no taxes, won’t have to deal with Chartered Accountants
Ca’s can turn your profitable statement of affairs into a pretty nasty and dirty bad sheet.they will show such a pathetic picture..even income-tax officials will get pitty on you and offer you donations from their pocket money.But,for doing so, they will take w'hole' chunk of your fortune.So if your poor,then no need of a ....!!any guesses?

(my sole intention of this article was to highlight the luxury we enjoy because of our lifestyle and more importantly because of our parents....hence remember "few grains for birds,some grass for animals and a little  help to co-human being gives the real meaning to life".....)

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