I woke up confused on a strange bed with some girls standing around me. They were all whispering to one another and peering down my face. My life was about to change, I knew, But not so soon, I smiled. I tried to get up but various wires tied me down. I could not remember how I got there and looked at clock. It was quiet and relaxed and showed 5.30 in the morning.
My head was aching. Maybe it was overstressed late-last night. The exoctica of life was missing. What am I into was immediate point of issue to be answered.
I stood up…..weak…drained….fell back on bed.
After few more hours…….
Slowly I realised I was in the ICU of some hospital: and with my Excessive book reading issues, I guessed I must have passed out at the studyroom ( After a marathon 16hour non-stop reading of Complaints act followed by Idiot Tax Act and Satire Tax, that too even without standing up to pee) before finally landing here.
One of the Nursing Lady told me it was Monday morning now and I gave everyone anxious moments on the previous evening. They had managed to shift me to the hospital in an ambulance in quickest possible time, which according to my doctor has given me a fresh lease ( no deed was carried-out though) of life. As my mind cleared, I suddenly remembered the previous morning and could not help smiling. People around me must have thought that the fall had done something to my head for me to smile in such a situation! Let me explain why I smiled.
On Sunday morning, the previous day, I was up unusually early and began aimlessly surfing the channels on the TV. I paused for a few minutes on a south channel in which an astrologer was rattling away the fortunes and misfortunes for the following week. His predictions for my ‘Rasi’ ’(zodiac sign) was that I will get to travel in a new type of vehicle, would be pampered by women and have bright chances to be in front or behind the camera. Since I am Young, I thought all these were coming a bit too early to be excited. The first two predictions seem to have come almost true. Though a ride in an ambulance and attention by nurses in ICU were the last things to make one happy, I was curious to know how the third prediction will turn out.
Without notice, the wires attached to me were pulled out. I was unceremoniously bundled on to a stretcher and then wheeled to a destination which I could not guess!. My smile vanished and I meekly enquired where we were heading. A bored reply ”for tests” came from the accompanying trainee nurse( followed by Blush). Then started a journey up and down the elevators, through various crowded corridors, gloomy passages and stopped in front of MRI room. A tired looking man pushed me into the machine and ordered me to remain still. It was claustrophobic with loud banging and ear- splitting noise inside the machine.
“Expose your abdomen”, the lady ordered. I shrunk! What was she planning to do? I have seen the hero spinning a top around the navel of the heroine in a movie. With a threatening bladder ( remember, I didn’t pee for a long time) I was in no mood for romance. I wanted to sing “why this koleveri di?”. When she came to my abdomen, she resigned herself to scan a partially filled bladder and both were glad to get rid of each other. I would have strangled the TV astrologer if he had appeared before me. Was he referring to all these scans as a chance before Camera?
Back on my stretcher, I told the accompanying nurse that enough was enough and asked her to take me back to the ICU. Soon the doctor came and declared, “There were Ischemic changes in bilateral backoparietal white matter in my head, Fibrocalcific plaques in right brianoeotis causing 50% stenosis, severe IV dysfunction etc etc. I asked, “Doctor nothing serious is it not? Can I go home?” He appeared shocked! I did not wait for his answer and jumping out of the bed, asked my friend to get my clothes.
On our way back home, I saw a huge hoarding showing a big palm. It said “accurate palm reading and predictions. Meet astrologer so and so to know your future”. I told the autowallah, “ Stop the auto. I want to hurl a stone at that hoarding.”
He looked amused.
{ This fantasised extract from author's personal diary has nothing to do with his current employment as a trainee in a leading Chartered Accountancy firm, trust me..!! }
